It's getting harder to find time to write these days. I've already delayed this post once, and I'm writing this knowing that it will probably get pushed back further1. I could just skip the update for this month, of course, but I've decided I don't want to do that. This is an important one.
I just became a father.
I won’t go into the details of the birth, but suffice it to say, there were some complications. My partner J and I have spent some extra time at the hospital over the past week, and while things seem to be somewhat back on track now, it’s been rough. The whole process has shown me (as if I didn’t already know!) how amazing J is, and I count myself very lucky to have met her. She’s an incredible partner, mother, and person.
A few stray comments on the birth:
We had a lot of great midwives supporting us, but there was one in particular who really stood out. She was clearly very knowledgeable, and she made a certain decision—somewhat in contradiction of her senior Doctor—which we believe allowed us to avoid an emergency C-section. No judgement to those who take the Caesarian path, of course, but it isn’t what we wanted, so we’re very grateful to this midwife for what she did.
I got to be directly involved in the birthing process, holding C’s head as he came out. Very, very cool memory—I recommend any prospective dad give it a go if you think you can stomach it.
I held C afterwards, and I got pooped on a lot. When babies are first born, they pass something called meconium, a black, sticky, smelly substance. It is nasty. I can still smell it sometimes.
The baby himself—let’s call him C—is a cute little thing. Right now C doesn’t do much except feed, sleep, poop, and cry, but I can see his eyes darting around, taking everything in. I think he’ll be clever2. He also seems to be pretty cheeky and spirited; this was especially obvious while he was still in the womb (he had a tendency to kick medical equipment when it was attached to J’s belly), but he wriggles around a lot, and seems to resist any attempt to hold him down (e.g., for nappy changes). This partly influenced our eventual decision on the name. We had one other option, but decided that it didn’t suit—it felt too stoic, and I don’t think that’s our C.
It feels strange saying I’m a dad. It doesn’t feel real, not yet. But I’ll keep talking about it and reflecting on it (and doing it), and at some point I’m sure it will feel more natural. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from other fathers about their own experiences of childbirth. Please share in the comments. And if you’re a soon-to-be-dad and have some questions, please also comment below. I’m no expert, but I’ll happily share what I know.
Future Planning
My posting has slowed to a crawl recently. There’s a lot going on—the birth of baby C is the big one, but I’ve also had other family commitments, and I’m about to start a new job. I suspect the next few months are only going to get busier, and while I’d like to say I’ll stick to my usual posting schedule during this time, I don’t think this is realistic.
So—with my sincerest apologies to my one paid subscriber, who purchased a yearly subscription—I’m going to drop the expectation of a monthly main post until the end of the year. I’ll still be writing, and my aim is still to publish approximately one post per month, but for now I can’t give any guarantees.
I’ll still write a monthly update to keep you all in the loop, but I want to make some changes to this. Also, the monthly update will now be posted at the end of the month (roughly), starting at the end of September. The easiest way to explain the changes is to show them, so…
Substack
Mind & Mythos
It’s been a rough month. I was sick, and then busy tying things up at my old jobs, and then busy with a newborn. As a result, I haven’t done much work on The Stories We Tell this month. I’m still working on it—it will be my next main essay post—but I can’t say for sure when this will come out.
I’ll return to Genesis after that. It’s finally happening!
Current/planned essays:
The Stories We Tell #1: 25% complete
Peterson #2: 5% complete
Genesis #2: 5% complete.
Songs of Sarenthé
I published Noren’s Crossing a few weeks back, and people seem to have enjoyed it. I quite like it—check it out if you’re interested in fantasy fiction and epic poetry.
I’m currently working on Life Amongst the Ruins, a short story (almost finished), and a new poem tentatively called The Dancer. The Songs of Sarenthé posts are in a way easier/quicker for me than the Mind & Mythos ones, so if you have a general interest in my work, subscribe to Songs of Sarenthé for more regular content.
Current works in progress:
Life Amongst the Ruins (short story): 90% complete
The Dancer: 20% complete.
Reading
Goal: 12 books this year, prioritising in-progress books until the end of the year.
I’m still committed to achieving this goal, although the plan for how I’ll get there might change. I’ve removed two books from my ‘to read’ list, and this is one of those plan changes—I won’t be reading these books cover-to-cover any time soon, so I decided to free up space for books that are more relevant to my current goals and interests.
This month I finished two books: Nietzsche’s On the Genealogy of Morality, and Simpson & Smith’s Schema Therapy for Eating Disorders.
Genealogy is, obviously, a classic. Nietzsche’s writing can be very difficult to parse at times, but I found this a lot more accessible than Beyond Good and Evil. Maybe it’s just the translation. Either way, it’s a very insightful work, and I enjoyed finally getting to read it. I intend to reference this work soon in my Genesis series, so keep an eye out for that.
Current books:
Brott & Rudick, The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be: 252/292 pages read.
Numa de Coulanges, The Ancient City: 62/323 pages read.
Giambattista Vico, New Science: 170/491 pages read.
J. M. Roberts, The Penguin History of Europe: 192/670 pages read.
J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring: 64/398 pages read.
Iain McGilchrist, The Master and His Emissary: 120/462 pages read.
Finished books:
Young et al., Schema Therapy: A Practitioner's Guide
Dan P. McAdams, The Stories We Live By
Simpson & Smith, Schema Therapy for Eating Disorders
Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morality
Exercise
Goal: 2 gym sessions per week, 1 walk per week.
This remains an achievable goal, especially now that we’re heading towards Summer (which starts around September and ends around April where I live). Unfortunately, between sickness, work stuff, baby, and other various happenings, I’ve not done much this month.
I think I did two gyms sessions, total, since my last post? Better luck next month!
Latin
Goal: 1 chapter per month.
Despite getting a new copy of Lingua Latina last month, I’m actually going to put this goal on hold for now. I just don’t have the time and brain-space to focus on learning a language with everything else going on. I’ll re-visit this toward the end of the year.
Poetry
Goal: publish at least 1 poem per month.
Done and dusted. Check out my poem Noren’s Crossing over at Songs of Sarenthé!
But for now, I’ll also be putting this goal on hold as well. I’ll probably still do it, but I don’t want to put any extra pressure on myself.
Interesting Links
Again, temporary plan—but I’m going to make this an optional ‘sometimes thing’ that I include when I have the time. The reason for this is that I currently just don’t have a lot of time to read/watch/consume online content, so I don’t really have anything to share.
So… that’s it! See you next month.
- D
It did.
But every parent thinks that.
I doubt this incredible midwife reads your newsletter. But just in case she doesn't, I hope she already knows how you feel about her brave and effective intervention(?)
Congratulations!!!! 💗